After six months of having his ass handed to him in legislative defeat after legislative defeat, the Trump administration is attempting to tamp down expectations of his signature campaign promise: a huge, beautiful concrete wall on the US-Mexico border.
“It was never meant to be a physical wall,” Trump lied. “I wish the Fake News media would go back and take a look at what I said. I never once said it would be an actual wall. So sad.”
Trump administration officials speaking on condition of anonymity admitted that since relations are already at an all-time low between the two countries, this is a way to proclaim victory without actually having to do anything.
“So much winning!” Trump added. “Are you tired of all the winning yet?”
In response, former Mexican President Vicente Fox Tweeted what everyone was already thinking.
“Trump is an asshat!”